We are still not where we need to be financially. I don't want to be rich but I would like us to be above water. Being patient with Ricky is not easy. Sometimes I want to lash out and scream but it never does any good. All it causes is more pain and stress. We don't need that right now. I have continued praying for healing and searching for a solution. This is a test of faith.
However God's presence has been known in all the tiny things that happen. The small stuff counts. Checks that come out of nowhere, helping a friend in need, developing a new friendship are just a few signs of His presence. Ricky and I are expanding our Christian music selection. I am a faithful listener of KCBI now. We like almost any music but started actively listening to Christian radio and songs. Also KCBI's on air staff have been a blessing. I feel like God directs Rob Rion to pray for us because every time I send a prayer request in, he ends up getting it. The way the DJs get them is that they receive a list every hour. When I turn on the radio, he was announcing us. If you remember, he took the time to talk to me. Its amazing.
My friend Maria has different experiences with God. She is a faithful Christian. When she shares how God has shown His presence, I can only rejoice knowing that He is awesome. In the past if she (or anyone else) were to relay what happened to them, I would have pointed and laughed because the thought of God appearing in a dream or any other way than what I was used to was not in my line of thinking. I am learning not to put Him in a box.
Ricky and I are still researching ways to start our ministry. Its going to take financial provision, prayer and discipline to do this. We want to serve our Lord and glorify Him. So I will pray for a way to get this started.
We are evaluating where our church home is as well. Its a hard decision because we are rotating between 3 churches and each one calls to us in a different way. I want to get involved in more activities. I really want to do mission work. Ricky wants to use the Internet and minister to the gaming community. More to come as this evolves.
I am considering taking a week off from work because I am getting burned out. I want to restore my spirit and be a better performer of my job. I have been crying and stressed out most of the time. I would love for Ricky and I to go on a retreat and have our hearts revived. Our candle is down to the bottom. We need to refuel our relationship with each other and the Lord. Even as our faith is growing we still are a long way from praying together. I feel this will make a difference in so many ways.
I have not talked to my family much since I got back from East Texas. I am not ready for drama. If I do communicate with them, I will just slip back in depression. I am praying for Gods direction on this. Ignoring my family is not what I have in mind.
If no one has noticed I will be closing most posts with a prayer. My hope is that whoever sees my thoughts with God will not be scared to pray. Its sharing your heart with Him. There are no fancy words or Bible quoting. My prayers are far from eloquent and fancy. So be encouraged to lead in prayer if you are asked. God will not judge you for your vocabulary because He knows your heart.
Heavenly Father, we thank You for our fathers as Fathers day comes up. They have a hard job and we pray that they know Your word. I ask for healing on Ricky's side as it continues to cause him discomfort. Lay Your healing touch on him. We are blessed to have KCBI as a station that glorifies You. Please forgive us for falling short of You and we thank You for sending Your Son down. It is the greatest gift. For it is in Jesus name we pray, Amen