Sunday, September 20, 2009

Many thoughts again

This past week I got to volunteer for KCBI's Share 2009. It is a fundraiser event that takes donations and faith promises from listeners. The station is listener supported and has no commercials or advertising. Businesses do support the station by underwriting. I could go in to the boring details of how a station works but it would put me to sleep trying to describe it. However I had an awesome time in the company of the staff and fellow volunteers. I got to sit and talk with Rob Rion, Bongo Rod, Bernie, Dennis..I could go on and on. It was an amazing time of fellowship with other believers and I supported a ministry I believed in. As long as I am in the DFW area I plan to work every year at this event. What a way to have fun and do something meaningful at the same time.

I am trying to lose weight. It is a struggle to do so but I know I can do it if I try. I had taken to walking every day but when Share came around I fell off the wagon. At Share 2009 food is provided around the clock. So I ended up eating a LOT. This week I will get disciplined again. I don't blame anyone but myself for my self control issues but that's okay. :) I am also trying to replace soda with water and control my portions. Of course when food is provided almost every second that can be a challenge. One of the reasons why I want to lose weight is because I am not healthy. I am 70 pounds overweight. I believe that getting rid of this excess could help my back problems and joints. I also want to keep myself from becoming diabetic. It runs in the family and the effects of it are not pretty if left untreated.

I got to meet 2 of my "celebrities" that were mentioned in an earlier post. On August 28 I met Dr. Richard Land at SWBTS chapel. On September 10th I met Dr. Al Mohler. Keep in mind when I say meet its a 3 minute ordeal. You shake their hand, tell them how much you admire them, have them sign your book, maybe take a picture if you are lucky and its over. I wish I could have sat down to lunch with them because these men are 2 that I admire greatly. However they are busy spreading the gospel through the work they do.

Ricky and I are still struggling with finances. I have bills that need to be caught up on. I took a small step and made a payment plan for a phone bill that Meri ran up. I got her a phone through my job and needless to say I did not get much money from it. I take partial responsibility for this bill because I did not put restrictions. So I feel like I am making a small step toward getting out of debt. Ricky is in school now. I am glad because it motivates him and he is not finding ways to be negative or talk himself out of doing something worthwhile. Because he is in school I am figuring out ways to trim the budget and keep the household afloat until Ricky finds work or a source of income. We are looking for a cheaper place to live. The rent here is outrageous. I know of apartments that charge less for more space in a safe area.

At Share 2009 I met some nice people. However there is this one woman I met that I feel envious of. Her name is Christina and she is married to the general manager (Mike) for the station. She is an attractive woman with a great figure and blond hair. She and Mike have 2 kids. They are the ideal American family with the boy and a girl in a nice house with a dog. I have not felt envious in quite some time so why is it rearing up now? I guess its because she seems to have it put together. She is a stay at home mom with a happy marriage. We talked for some time. I have to shamefully admit I almost written her off as a shallow, uppity woman from her appearance. But that is certainly not Christ like and I am being just as shallow by judging on outside covers. I got past that and started feeling insecure as we talked because she spoke with such joy about her life. Judgemental me started thinking "it must be nice to have it all". The sad thing is that I don't know much about her life with Mike other than what I saw at Share. I have no idea of the struggles the family may go through. I was literally focused on all the things I saw. I am envious of the house, the family, the financial security, and circumstances. I started longing to look like her. I wanted to somehow find Ricky and I a house so I could somewhat secretly compete with her and say "I can have that too." I still am struggling with money issues by spending money I do not have show people that I can afford things too. These are weaknesses that have been brought to light. I am now repenting for being envious and judgemental. My life is not perfect but it is blessed. I have to be grateful for what I have. Its hard sometimes because when I see people who seem to have it more together than I do the green monster rears its head.

I am still praying for a way to get out of working on Sunday. Week after week I miss being in a house of believers. Listening to the services on the radio really do more harm than good because I just start resenting the fact I am not there in church. I am missing out on music ministry and being an active part of the church. I know the Lord knows my heart and He understands. The only comfort I can draw is that the Lord sees my efforts. However so many events in the church are coming up and I have to miss out because I am work. I am not ungrateful for my job but I am hungering for fellowship. Going to SWBTS chapel during the week is wonderful but not the same. Missing my church home does not change my gratitude for SWBTS offering worship. I am not sure how I would get through the week with out these services.

My life is not perfect but it is wonderful. I have the Lord on my side. I love my husband even during trials. I thank our Father for the blessings I already have and ask for repentance on my coveting attitude I reflect on troubled times and the lessons learned.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for Your blessings and forgive me as I seem ungrateful for being envious. I ask you to continue watching over those who need Your comforting hand. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Lets talk Politics.

I am very concerned about the health care reform that our president wants to propose. Please don't misunderstand. We do need an overhaul in the system. There needs to be a way for people to get good treatment when they either lose their job or have insurance taken away. A solution needs to be constructed for the less fortunate. However with the new proposed legislation I fear it will have the opposite effect than what was intended. The plan proposed is a socialized health care system where no one has to pay. It sounds great on paper but there are risks associated with it. There are wait lists for major surgeries. Companies will be forced to pay higher prices for private health insurance. The sanctity of life will be compromised. Abortions are not excluded so there is room for that in the bill. Elderly will be given "decision counseling" which could potentially lead to euthanasia. There is a "Decisions" booklet out there given to veterans on their "choices". I have seen the book and it is atrocious to give this to someone. The message in that book points to "quality of life" If passed this new reform will suggest who is worth getting the new treatments. A price tag will be put on lives. Do we honestly want this to pass?

It makes me so mad that people do not want to see what is coming because they are still in the "honeymoon" phase of Obama's presidency. People were willing to criticize Bush for the war but are not willing to be objective when it comes to our current president. I am tired of people assuming its a right wing conspiracy to protect human life and morals. It gets old having to explain why I do not agree with our current administration's policy. It is quite sad to see people fall at Obama's feet like he is a rock star and are not willing to see past the historic event. I can be honest here and say that the fawning over him is nauseating. No one wants to open their eyes to the things going on. I am not willing to call Obama the anti-Christ. I am not making assumptions that he wants to destroy our country. However he is very misguided on how to run this country. Some of his decisions are questionable. He has a very distorted view of the sanctity of life. I pray that he will have a change of heart on his policies.

Today he spoke to the nation's youth with a speech on staying in school and hard work. This was not without controversy as it was delivered the day before the health care reform to be addressed. Many people refused to let their children see the speech because there was an assumption that he was going to speak about policy for influential reasons. Conservatives are getting the backlash for their outcry against this. I am in the middle when it comes to this. I do not oppose the president speaking to the country. However if many people were concerned enough to not let their children see the speech then there has to be a warning. I do not think that a group of people would cry wolf to something that was serious to their hearts. It also makes me sick that the race card was played into this controversy. It is ridiculous to even suggest that because of the turn out of the election. If more than half of the nation voted for him then race was not an issue. I have personally spoke with some coworkers and acquaintances that voted for him and were NOT African American. The issue was that the parents felt that the government's agenda was going to pushed on to the children. I wouldn't have forbade my children from watching the speech provided I could be there with them. For something like this I think a parent has every right to be involved.

I pray for our country. I hope that if a health care reform does get passed it will be one that recognizes the sanctity of life. God created all of us in His image. He did not put a price tag on us like priced goods. I also pray that Barack Obama will have a change of heart on his policies.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Expository Preaching: Going the way of the 8 track?

Let me start with a confession. If you knew me 10 years ago I wouldn't have known what the title of this post meant. I did not pay attention to the sermon. In fact when I was at church (which was rare) I would be drawing in my bulletin, thinking about what was for lunch or glancing at the clock every 3 or 4 minutes just waiting for the message to end. I called myself a Christian, read the Bible when it suited me and attended church just for show. At the time I did not appreciate what was being presented by our servants of God. Fast forward to now where I love listening to God's word, learning to read the Bible regularly, and I actually pay attention to the sermon! There are still times that I will lose focus of whats being said but that is only if the person has the voice of a robot. Because lets be honest here, you can have the greatest sermon ever written but no one is going to listen if you sound like a machine.

Today Ricky and I had the privilege of listening to Dr. David Allen preach on the sacrifice of Christ. He took text from Leviticus 16:22 and Isaiah 52 and 53 where the coming of Jesus and what was going to happen was prophesied. He took a verse by verse approach to the scripture giving us an explanation of the verse and a description of what was happening. This was one of the best examples of expository preaching that I have seen. Some may consider it dry and boring but Dr. Allen was able to keep our interest by invoking passion and emotion to the text. Isaiah 53 is not a dry passage. It describes the coming of the exalted one, gives the description that he is going to be rejected but he will remove our transgressions by taking them all on his shoulders and bearing our sins for us. It was a joy to listen to Dr. Allen. Anyone interested in this sermon should go to and click on chapel archives.

I was blessed by the approach Dr. Allen took today in chapel. But some people would not be. Why is that? Why wouldn't someone hear the great news being told to us? Sadly it is because our churches are getting too scared to preach the text and are more worried about attracting people to church. Pastors want to reach the lost by trying to imitate the culture but in doing so they fail at what they try to succeed. The church buildings are becoming malls, the ministries are watered down as if they are hiding the true meaning of God's message, and the sermons are turning into comedy routines. Don't misunderstand. Humor is not a bad thing. Illustrations and stories are great. But when you leave out the scripture and do the disservice of keeping the congregation out of the loop then there is a major problem. But some of our churches are afraid of expository preaching because they don't want to scare the crowd. How is the flock going to get any idea of what is going on if God's word is not involved? Let me suggest that there are different ways of preaching. Expository preaching is not the only fail proof method. But pastors want to do right by their congregation and present God's word as it is supposed to be. It is okay to mix up styles of message delivery. Not all sermons have to be a verse by verse bible study. Some of my favorite sermons were not of this form. However the message was not diluted so it could be "people friendly". Lets face it. The Bible is not all pretty words and trite platitudes. It has solid biblical truth some of which is not pretty. It explains of God's judgement, Solomons life, and Jesus Crucifixion which do not paint a picture. The message is necessary though so we can understand how we are to be as servants of Christ.

Dr. Allen did not use funny illustrations today. He did not get the crowd laughing. Instead he got the audience truly paying attention to a message that is effective and important. If we are to understand the Lord's will we have to actually accept the Word. We cannot be caught up in cultural poison that could lead us down the wrong path. Let me also mention that Dr. Allen has known to get us laughing in chapel. But today he was led to give us verse by verse insight of the impending coming of Christ. We as a church have to start reading, hearing, and spreading the word unapologetically, compassionately, and boldly. Do not be afraid to use the scripture. God gave us that so we know His plans for us.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

SWBTS is a blessing

Due to limitations at my job I am unable to attend church at this time. I do not have enough time to take off every Sunday and its just not feasible. So I found an alternative way to worship while I pray for Sundays off. I attend Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary's chapel before I go to work. Chapel is held Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 10:50-12:00. The great thing about this is being able to hear great Christian leaders from all over the country. The faculty rotates turns with visitors for a chance to preach. At least once a week the president of the seminary will have his turn as well. I am glad I was able to go because I was blessed by Dr. Thomas White and his message today. I want to say he read my last entry of my blog because he touched on the topic of being ambassadors for Christ! However I know the Lord had somehow used my blog and Dr. White to point out what we as His servants should be working on. I left the sermon woken up from my spiritual funk. He challenged us to be bold in proclaiming the Lord and not to wimp out. To hear this message go to and click on Chapel and then go to chapel archives. If its not there this evening it should be posted up by tomorrow. This sermon is a must hear and I promise you that it will wake you up and recharge the spiritual batteries. God bless SWBTS for allowing their chapel to be open to the community.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Shortcomings examined

I am a Christian. I believe in God and that Jesus Christ died for our sins. I attend church when I can, I read the Bible and I pray. However when looking at this list I realize that I am not doing what the Lord calls me to do in spreading the Gospel. I go around proclaiming I am a Christian but I fail to defend my faith or even talk about it. The reason is I am a wimp. I can praise the Lord all day long but what good am I if I freeze up in discussions about God? What kind of disservice am I doing when I keep quiet and do not say anything? Of course there are reasons why people are cautious. I want to know how to overcome these.

One reason I get nervous is because I work in a politically correct workplace. It is gotten to the point where if you mention the name of Jesus or talk about religion there is the possibility of getting called into your boss's office or being reported to HR. Now I will be honest and say I have not experienced it myself but I have seen too many cases where someone has been reported. So here is the dilemma I struggle with. Do I proclaim God's word at work with that chance of getting fired? Do I need to throw more caution to the wind and just do it regardless of consequences? Right now I am the only one working so is it worth the risk to do that and possibly lose my job while we are in a recession? Many people would suggest here that I don't have faith in the Lord and that I am putting Him in a box. Maybe I am being selfish because while I may lose my job I won't lose my life like our brothers and sisters in other countries. But I will be honest and say losing my job is not something I want to do.

Another issue I struggle with is that I seem to censor Ricky while we are in public. We will get into discussions on religion and politics. The problem is that his voice carries. I mean you could hear it from the other side of a restaurant or store if he gets wound up. So I tell him to keep it down. Not because I think what he is saying is wrong but because it sounds like we are hateful bigots. I know that is not the intention of his words but he can be quite volatile when he starts speaking of our current president and political issues. Some comments made make me cringe because they sound downright rude. But we do have free speech so I am not trying to say he does not have a right to speak but I have a belief that there is a time and place for everything. But am I wrong? Would speaking about current issues make people more aware? Is it appropriate to bring up a religious or political debate at a dinner party or a child's birthday? (These scenarios really did happen) Are we being wimps by trying to keep the peace or are we being correct in letting people know the truth?

Here is the worst thing I have done when getting into a discussion with someone that has different views or is not a believer. I have wimped out and said "I respect your opinion" and leave it at that. I have downplayed my OWN faith as not to offend someone. I personally think that is the worst witness of the gospel and anyone who has done that should repent of that immediately. I took advice from a friend. He chastised me and told me I was being too harsh when I spoke of the Lord. He also told me to tone the beliefs downs as not to stir controversy. I agree with the first part of the criticism but not the second. I know in order to win people to Christ you have to do it in such a way that is effective. I think feeding fluff to the masses is very dangerous. Condemning people to hell at first conversation doesn't cut it either. There has to be a better way than what we are doing.

So I will pray that I can be a stronger witness for Christ by working on my shortcomings mentioned here. I am honest about these because I can look back and know what needs to be shaped.

Lord I ask for your forgiveness at my shortcomings. I ask for strength as I go out and proclaim the Good news that I won't back down and will be Your faithful servant. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


On Sunday at church we lost our student minister. I have no idea what happened. No one is talking. The event depresses me to no end because he was turning our youth program around and renovated it. We have so many students at church now that are excited about what the Lord has in store for them. He came up with so many ideas and fired up our teenagers. It was an abrupt move so of course it leaves the church congregation to think the worst. Did he do something he wasn't supposed to? Did he fight with the senior pastor? Were there parent complaints no one knew about? Those questions are swirling right now. But there is one question that keeps nagging me. Was he a pawn in an awful scheme? I mention this because the senior pastor introduced his son in law as a student intern just a few months after our student minister was hired. Then just a few days ago our student minister is gone. So then the evil doubts creep into my mind. Did our pastor throw him out for his son in law to get the job? It bothers me even to have these. I feel like the enemy is putting doubts in my head telling me that church is bad and this is what to expect. I have been searching for two days with no success on what really happened. The doubts keep growing and my anger at the pastor is blooming. I want to be able to trust that he prayed about this situation. I have prayed for some type of guidance during this time. I also pray for our students during the transmission process. I am also asking that the Lord reveal to me a sign that the pastor made this decision with prayer and discernment. This is one of the worst things to feel at this time.

Lord I ask your guidance during this time at FBD as we are experiencing change. I pray for your wisdom and for our staff as they find someone to lead our students. In Jesus Name, Amen

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Its not that simple.

Ricky and I have been struggling a lot over the past year through many situations. Some of them were self inflicted, some were errors of others. Because of our eventful year we have been bumping heads quite a lot. We have had some of the worst fights that I would not wish on anyone. There have been some hurtful words that can never be taken back. We have battled finances. We disagree over how we should be living our lives. There has been threat of splitting up. Its been very turbulent. However I know we love each other and want to weather these storms. Its worth it to keep a marriage together. Its not just because of statistics or reputation. I believe that when a man and woman are in a covenant marriage they should make it work out.

When Ricky and I disagreed, I would vent to a "friend" about our problems. Big mistake. Why? Because while a friend or coworker is willing to listen they can sometimes offer dangerous advice. Over the past month I have gotten some awful solutions on how to handle our differences. The worst thing is these people really think they are helping! One person told me that I need to do what "feels" right to be happy. What was meant was I should commit an act of adultery because I was not being satisfied. Yeah that's just great in the short term. (Please note sarcasm) Sleep with someone and be happy. That's a wonderful solution if you want to HURT people! Because when you have intercourse with someone you share more than just physical needs. Some may not realize it but an emotional bond can develop if it hadn't already from the emotional affair that always seems to happen. It does not matter how unhappy you are. Adultery is not the answer. There is no excuse for it. However me being a sinner in a fallen world I can understand why it may happen. I know people who have escaped their abusive spouse to feel cherished by someone else. That being said I am still not excusing the act because of the long term damage that can follow. I had another person tell me to destroy the stuff they love. This may have came off in a joking manner but I know there was a grain of truth behind that. I have very tempted to take a bat to the play station and the xbox. However there is no point. Why waste the energy destroying things? Some may argue its better than hitting your spouse but if you need to hit something get a dummy or a punching bag. Smashing game systems to bits only solves the problem for the short term. Those are just two of some dumb things to do.

The worst advice I think you could ever give a struggling couple is to tell them to be divorced. Now before everyone yells just understand what I mean. I certainly don't advocate a marriage to stay together if there is abuse. Adultery can be worked through but if its continuous and your spouse is unrepentant then its time to give an ultimatum. But my worst advice was when I had a coworker tell me that I needed to divorce Ricky so I can be happy and that God would bless my decision. The person went on to say that God wants me happy and would understand. That is some of the worst theology I have ever heard! I know the Lord wants wants best for me. I also know if I am going through trials and tribulations He is beside me. Its not easy at all but to have my Heavenly Father pick me up when I cant go no more is a great thing. He is not sitting up there wanting me to be miserable but the Bible states why God hates divorce! These hard times are to make us stronger. If I were to get a divorce I would be sinning. Being in Christ means this sin could be forgiven. But why even sin when I could do the right thing and seek out ways to make our marriage stronger? Divorce leaves some really bad results as well. My dad and Ricky's parents are divorced. One of them is remarried. However all three of them carry the bitterness to this day with them. Plus if kids are involved they get caught in a tug of war that they did not ask for. There are times when parents want the children to take sides. There is also psychological damage also. There are so many bad side effects from a divorce that its worth it to stick it out. I do make an exception when it comes to abuse. My sister and her husband have been married for 20 years. She should have left him 19 years ago. He has put her in the hospital more times than I can count. I cannot in good conscious tell her to stay with him. Some may disagree and argue you stick it out no matter what but constant abuse is not excusable.

In my case divorce is not an option I will pursue. The Lord has blessed me already. Temporary promises are not fulfilling. So if someone wants to give me advice don't tell me to get a divorce. Its not that simple.

Monday, August 3, 2009


I got to meet Dr. Russell Moore tonight! It was a great experience! When I walked up to him I introduced myself but he knew who I was before I could get my full name out. It was because he is a facebook friend and saw my comments on his page. I guess he recognized me from my picture as well. He was very kind and shook mine and Ricky's hand. I also got my copy of "Adopted for Life" signed. His message was powerful. He is an ambassador for adoption and encourages people to support it. Read his book and download his messages from If I attempted to give a summary of the sermon I would mangle it beyond repair. You want to hear from him and see how God uses him to further His kingdom.

I mentioned Dr. Moore in my celebrities blog a few weeks back and how I wanted to meet him. After tonight's message I realized to call him a celebrity would be an insult. Dr. Moore is an inspiration to me because he is a servant of Christ and preaches on the theology of adoption and works to get the word out regarding it. His work is more powerful than the stars throwing money around and getting into trouble. Dr. Russell Moore is not a celebrity. He is a man who serves our Savior and loves his family. He is not a rock star. He is not making money by immoral acts. His face is not plastered on posters. No this man is much more to many people. He should be not idolized but respected for what he does for the Kingdom. Many of us out here are thankful for his steadfast service. But above all things he is Gods servant and I am proud to call him a brother in Christ.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Reality Check

I was browsing the Internet when I came across a blog of a friend of mine. We don't talk anymore due to past mistakes and hurts but I have not denounced him as a friend for many reasons. Part of the reason we haven't spoken had to do with a major disagreement we had that could have very well destroyed my marriage with Ricky. But back to his blog. I noticed a comment he posted about me that really opened my eyes to the way I had been acting before we stopped talking. He did not mention my name but I know it was about me because it mentioned contents from a conversation we had regarding our beliefs. I had lashed out in anger calling him a "liberal" and accused him of being heartless because we did not agree on certain views. I also said that the word "conservative" is not in his vocabulary. He had lashed out at me because of the things I have said. I realized just how bad my behavior was because I was casting stones. I had no business doing so because I am a sinner. I don't need to be acting self righteous and rude. That attitude kills any chance of witnessing the gospel. I have realized that my behavior of being nasty and rude really casted me in a terrible shadow. I could have very well have ruined my chance to share the Good News. He proclaims to know the Lord but I don't know if he has accepted Jesus. I have no idea. If he hadn't I ruined my chance to explain what that relationship is. It was because I was too busy being a hypocrite and being judgemental. I still have my views but through Gods grace I will learn to share His love without being cruel. I hope I will be able to speak to this friend again soon. I would like to apologize for my behavior but even more I would like to share the Good News. Maybe he already knows it and we can rejoice as brother and sister in Christ. I hope my friend will find this and know he has brothers and sisters in Christ ready to pick him up when he falls.

Heavenly Father, I ask for Your forgiveness with my judgemental attitude. I pray that my friend and others will know the Good News. I ask this in Jesus Name, Amen.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Sad news

Today Michael Jackson and Farrah Faucet passed away. As humans we feel that tug of sadness when we hear about someone who died. It does not matter if they are related or if they are someone in passing. I am grieving for these 2 because I don't know if they knew the Lord. I am at bothered by this because regardless of what anyone did or said or did not do I would not wish them eternal separation from our Lord. Some people have said that Michael Jackson deserved what he got because of his lifestyle. When it was announced that he passed away all I could think of was that I hope he knew Christ. I worry about someone who has denounced Gods grace. I am tormented by where they may end up. When the comedian George Carlin passed away my husband turned to me and said "We know where he is going". If you know anything about George Carlin you knew he was very vulgar and a proud atheist. He had no problem telling anyone that there was no God. So when he passed away I felt so sad knowing that he very well may be eternally separated. Unless he came to a saving knowledge of Christ right before he died then its inevitable where he is now. Christians today have done too much tongue clucking and pointing fingers instead of going out there and spreading the word. If there was one thing that motivated you it should be knowing that 3 cultural icons may have had it all but did not except the greatest gift of all. Material gain, status, and money is nothing when you do not have Christ. I pray for the Faucet and Jackson families today. I know its hard right now. Imagine if someone could have knowledge of knowing that someone you love will be in the arms of Jesus. Not knowing is torment and I pray we as Christians become better at presenting the Gospel. Its available to everyone regardless. I feel as Christians we have failed in being a witness to the lost. I pray that Farrah Faucett, George Carlin, Michael Jackson and any others that may have passed on knew Christ. Its a sobering thought to know where a person could end up by denying the Gospel.

Heavenly Father I pray for the families of Farrah Faucett and Michael Jackson as they are grieving during this time. I ask for Your assistance in us being better agents of Your word. I pray for anyone who does not know Christ and will hope that they come to a saving knowledge. I ask this humbly in the Name of Jesus.


Sunday, June 21, 2009

Celebrity and Priority

Have you ever thought of celebrities and why they are famous? What do they do to have them get the recognition they deserve? Are they talented singers? Do they act well? Or do they just have a ridiculous show exploiting their families? I have noticed people buying up the People, US Weekly, and In Touch magazines so they can gobble up the tidbits of information that seems fascinating. Some people actually seem to care that Britney Spears drove a Mercedes. Others are tsking over Lindsey Lohan's rehab stint. Jon and Kate's Goesslins marriage is falling apart on national TV. What do people find so wonderful or captivating about those tidbits? Its sad to see why people admire celebrities. It really is sad to see people idolize Madonna or Paris Hilton. I have no desire to meet any of these people. They have no impact on my life.

If someone were to ask me which "celebrity" I would want to meet the answer would surprise them. Its a question that will take some explanation. But lets list the mainstream answer first. Now for music I would love to meet Stephen Curtis Chapman or Mercy Me. They are great men of God and awesome musicians. Also I would like to meet Steve Perry from Journey. I always loved his voice and wondered what kind of person he would be. Carrie Underwood, Brad Paisley, and Alan Jackson are on the list as well. But that is as mainstream as I can get. These are people that are well known and admired for their talents. It would be nice to meet them. However its not a life long goal. With the possible exception of Mercy Me I would not be totally psyched if these people mentioned were to come to town. I would try to get tickets but would not feel let down if it did not happen

I would really want to meet Dr. Albert Mohler, Dr. Hershael York, Dr. Russell Moore, Dr. Richard Land, and Dr. Os Hawkins. Who are these people? Why would a young woman want to meet a bunch of men with Dr. titles? These are men of God I have come to respect greatly. These are well known men in the Southern Baptist Convention. Remember a previous post where I said that Southern Baptist and me did not mix in the past? Well things change and I think for the better. These men have preached Gods word lovingly but boldly. They get the bad rep because they don't compromise what they believe in. They aren't photographed in a magazine or flashed on the tabloid channel. However these are the people I want to meet due to the message they bring in their words and actions.

I was browsing the Internet one day and decided to look at the chapel schedule for Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Since I work Sundays I would go to chapel services at the seminary during the school year. I was curious about the upcoming fall schedule and decided to see if it was posted. When I looked on it my first reaction was excitement. I am embarrassed to say that it was almost the equivalent of a young girl going to a Hannah Montana concert. No I did not scream but I did clap in delight and I was excited to share the news. The list had some of my heroes of the Christian faith on it! Dr Mohler, Dr Land, and Dr Hawkins will be preaching at SWBTS this coming semester. I am very excited because for me it would be an honor just to shake the hands of soldiers for Christ. I was reminiscing with my husband at how old I must be getting if I am getting excited about going to a chapel service instead of wanting to get tickets for the next concert in town. Ricky mentioned that I was not getting old but my priorities are different. It is quite a change to be anticipating a chapel service. I have not started marking the days with an X but i have been happy to know that these men will be here before we know it! I cant wait to tell Dr. Mohler just how much I appreciate his stance. I am looking forward to shaking hands with Dr. Hawkins and sharing a few thoughts with Dr. Land. I cannot wait and I know that I will be blessed by these upcoming events.

One thing you always have to do is be careful regarding anyone who is a celebrity. If you start to idolize them and lose focus of who really is in charge then you will set yourself up for disappointment. This always happens for any person in the limelight. People are willing to defend Britney Spears breakdown or excuse her behavior just because of her status. Its the same with Lindsey Lohan or Amy Winehouse. No one wants to realize that these people are not gods and we should not elevate them above God. This same rule goes for my heroes I have mentioned. Dr. Land was on Live from Criswell discussing a controversial viewpoint. He disagreed with the host Dr. Barry Creamer on that show and for whatever reason I was disappointed in him for not seeing Dr. Creamers view point. However I realized I was dangerously elevating him above God so I set myself up for that. This can happen with anyone regardless of whether they are well known or famous in your eyes only.

I have had the privilege of speaking with Dr. Mohler via phone on his radio program. He was always very polite and kind. I have also corresponded with Dr. York via twitter and Facebook. Dr. York is a very busy man but he took the time to respond to me! That's humbling when someone who could be doing many other things decides he will answer me or listen to what I have to say.

So would I call my heroes celebrities? Possibly because is a lot to "celebrate". However I don't have pictures of them on my walls or glossy magazines with trivial information. I have something better. I have the assurance of Gods Love. That's better than any movie star or celebrity. Dr. Mohler, Dr. Land, Dr. Hawkins, Dr. York, and Dr. Moore will be the first to say so. They are the representative of the One who needs to be celebrated the most. That is our Lord and Savior.

An update

So its been a long while since I have posted something. So be prepared for a jumble of thoughts.

Meri has moved out of my place. It was bittersweet because I was hoping she would get a job and try to get ahead. I felt that the DFW area offered for opportunities instead of Sulphur Springs. However she felt that she needed to be there for her mom. The good news is that she has a job and is working on going back to school. As long as she keeps those goals in mind then it won't matter where she is if she stays focused. This is true for anyone who wants to succeed. Of course there are times that the place you are in does not allow for such opportunities but instead of letting that be an excuse to be limbo, take baby steps to move on. Meri is doing that by working and obtaining her ID. She will be taking classes within the next year.

Ricky and I are doing somewhat better with our finances. Part of it is that I have been working 20-30 hours of overtime each paycheck due to 3 people on my team being out. I have been able to pay the rent on time the past 3 months so that has been a blessing. Ricky will be searching for a job once he gets back from Kentucky where he has been visiting his family for the last month. I am learning to be patient with him but not tolerant of laziness. If I approach my concerns in a loving but firm way we are more likely to get somewhere. He said he wanted to look for employment once he comes back because he knew how hard I have been working.

I had been under so much stress the past few months due to the limited income and job issues. Regardless I have gotten through them just fine without any major damage to goods. :) Working those OT hours was almost not worth it because I wanted time off and I could not get it. There were days I was on the verge of breaking down, days I wanted to cry. There were times at work where I would just stare at my computer for an hour because I had no idea what to do. The Lord was able to carry me through this.

I had events that made me think of family. I had to take care of my mother-in-law when she had surgery because her family decided to ditch her. All of Claudia's sisters were whining and complaining abut how it was an inconvenience to help her out. Also every time she needed something the sisters would always do that "Cant Candice Do it?" whine. It makes me sad that family see each other as burdens or just do not like each other. I have a similar situation. My older sister Rhonda for whatever reason does not like me. I hear about the attempts she makes to smear my name to my younger sister Alicia. The problem with her attempts is that they are thwarted every time by Alicia. She tells Rhonda she is not interested. I have no idea why Rhonda carries this burden. I pray for her every day and hope she and her family come to a saving knowledge in our Lord.

Work is just another stressful time. As mentioned before I had to work overtime due to some people being out. But I am really starting to resent my job in the worst way. Getting the Lords Day off to worship is too much to ask I guess. I have tried anything and everything and all of my attempts are being blocked. There is a rule for trades. I can take time off but then I need a reliable back up but normally those are not available. I also have a coworker who asks me to cover for him when he needs time off but he has not returned the favor at all. I feel like I could use some help. It pains me to be in a pew at worship on those rare Sundays. I never know when I will be back. I am also missing out on joining the choir. I don't want to complain because I know the job is good for providing during a tough economy. However I question myself if its worth it. My spiritual life is not getting fed. I read my Bible and listen to sermon archives but its not the same as being in communion with fellow believers and getting to share Christs love with others. You cant get that from listening to a sermon on the computer. Right now I am working on my resume and ways to polish it up so I can find the position God intends for me. I do not plan on being where I am for a long time.

I got to go to a family reunion over the weekend. That was fun being able to meet parts of the family I did not know I had. My second cousin who lives in San Diego invited Ricky and I down to his place. I hope we can do it. It was a great time to be able to see where I came from and what my roots were. I pray that another family reunion can happen again while some of our relatives are still with us.

This is just a snap shot of whats been going on. I plan to start writing regularly again. I have so much to share! The Lord has blessed me even during these tough times.

Heavenly Father Thank you for Your many blessings and love during a hard time. In Christ Name, AMEN.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Job does not equal spiritual feeding.

I am very frustrated right now. Maybe I should just deal with what is bothering me by saying that others have it worse. That is true but it does not make me feel any better. It just makes me madder and want to spit.

I am having issues at my job. I work every Sunday and miss church. First Baptist Dallas has many services but every single one of them is within the time frame that I am working. FBD broadcasts their sermons on the radio but its not the same. I don't get to attend Sunday school at all. I am lucky if I can take a couple hours off to make the evening service. I do not have much vacation time to take the day off. Another option is to do a day trade but no one else wants to work on Sunday. My coworkers are quite happy not coming in on a weekend day. So I have to get creative and take a couple hours off here and there and make them off on a day off. Its frustrating. I have mentioned this to my boss and his response is "this is what you get for being last on the list for the shift bid". Well thank you very much for pointing that out. Does he honestly think that was supposed to help? Not to mention that condescending tone of "Cant you just find a Saturday service?" Well yes and no. Yes I could because there are a few churches that offer that option. But the Lord called Ricky and I to serve and attend First Baptist Dallas. This means honoring it with our tithes, attendance, and service. I can only provide the first thing. I am unable to attend most of the time and getting involved in ministry is out of the question. So no I cant just go to a Saturday service just for a feel good time. Oh and then getting snapped at by a coworker for mentioning that our job could save money by closing on Sundays was the tip of the iceberg. No reason to snap! I just made a suggestion! The coworker said I need to just deal with it. So I am dealing with it. But I wont be giving up this fight. Its not happening. I am glad for my job but if the Lord calls me somewhere else then there I will go. I will not let my current employment keep me from that. Sorry. It is not happening.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Its been awhile...

Ricky and I joined First Baptist Dallas and wanted to follow in believers baptism. We scheduled it for January 25th. We chose Walter Guillaume to officiate. He has been a major force in getting us to join First Dallas. He was one of the main contacts that was making sure we were okay and was so good to us. We were excepting to be baptized on January 25th. However Rickys grandmother passed away that day. We had gotten the call right after our First Step class that she was not doing well. Ricky and I were debating whether to cancel our baptism. Ricky wanted to go through with it but his mom kept telling us we needed to cancel it. Ricky said "Granny would want me to go through with it" She kept saying we needed to go and that we were being selfish if we did not leave. I have prayed for my mother in law but it seems that she wants to cause conflict no matter what. My relationship with her is not the best right now. But that's okay because we rescheduled the baptism.

February 22nd Ricky and I were baptized. It was a wonderful experience. It was quite funny too because when Ricky was dunked he ended up ruining Walters microphone. Plus Walter is about 5'11 and Ricky is 6'7. If you saw the video you would see a short man try to wrestle a giant. Not really but Walters amazing strength earned him the nice name "Little Dipper". Plus I got a chance to meet Doran Bugg the music minister for First Dallas. He was so friendly and open. We talked for a few minutes. One of my favorite parts of the church service is when Doran leads us in worship. His voice is awesome and you can tell he loves his job. Not to mention after the service we had just about everyone coming up to congratulate us.

Now for some great news....Meri got saved and will be baptized!!!! I am so proud of her! She did this tonight! She accepted the good news! This was prayer that finally got answered. Thank you LORD! We are looking into ways for her to get the kids back as well. She wants to do better in life. She understands it wont be a cake walk but with God walking beside her she will be fine. The Lord is awesome and has blessed all of us.

Thank you Lord for being there for us during our tough times. Thank you for Dr. Jeffress, Reverend Guillaume and Dr. Bugg for them being Your faithful servants. I am so glad Meri knows You. In Jesus Name,


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The most exciting day in American History???

Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th president of the US. Many were excited about this event. He is the first African American president. He got ridiculous media coverage today. I felt he was being over hyped. It is a good thing when a country can get past bigotry and vote someone in regardless of color of skin. But I feel like this election Obama was voted because he was an African American. I feel he was voted in to prove a point. That is almost never a good reason to vote someone in. In my personal opinion had he been a white person with the EXACT same agenda he would not have received as much media hype or votes. This election was based on color of skin any way you look at it. Many people I know are pro-life but they voted for Obama because of the idea of a different colored person in Washington. I only know a few people who elaborated on why Obama got their vote. One friend gave me educated reasons why he voted for Obama. The issue of race never came up. We may disagree but I respect him for looking at the issues. But everyone else was so worried about getting an African American in office they put aside their own principles. Again I am not racist but I did NOT vote for him. I wanted to so bad because I am one person who said a few years back about how nice to see a black man in office. When I first saw Obama on Oprah 2 years back I was excited! I thought we had our candidate for president! But doing more research and listening to his proposed ideas I got crushed. Because he does not represent someone I want in office and in good conscious I could not vote for him.

I did not watch the inauguration today. In a fit of bad unchristian attitude I thought if I did not watch it, then he would go away. Yes that is not a good thing to think of but I had dread just knowing that he was about to be sworn in. But the Lord has been with me and has gently reminded me to pray for our new president. I plan on doing that and trying to get away from the negative thoughts that keep churning. If I continue to think horrible of him then I am no better than those who criticized Bush. Does this mean I will keep quiet when Obama makes a decision that could potentially be dangerous? No but I will try to disagree respectfully and not stoop to the level of those who brutally slandered Bush. Also when something goes wrong I vow not to automatically blame Obama.

I am going to miss George W. Bush in office. We have seen war and economy declines. But I will not pacify people and say he was horrible. He did some things I did not agree with but he protected our country. He made sure we did not get attacked. He made decisions that were unpopular but ultimately kept us from a second terrorist attack. Our military knew that Bush was on their side. He valued the sanctity of life and protected many babies from being aborted. He was not a perfect candidate but will always have my respect and admiration. I will pray for his transition to civilian life with Laura. Ricky and I will miss him in office.

President Obama has stepped into the role of commander in chief. I will pray that his heart will be changed on some issues and that he will protect the country the way we deserve. I will also remember that Our Lord and Savior is in control. That is where my faith will ultimately lie. May he have the Lords hand in all decisions that he makes.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your perfect Will. Please be with President Obama and work on his heart to preserve the sanctity of life. Its in the name of Christ I pray,


Saturday, January 17, 2009

Many Thoughts

I have not been keeping up blogging. Mainly because I have had so much happen. Its just been a whirlwind the past few couple of months.

Ricky and I were in an accident in December. It was an event that has in many ways changed our life. Our car was wrecked by someone who rear ended us and did 5000.00 worth of damage. Our routines were interrupted. We were without a car for a week before the other guys insurance came through. We were broke and struggling to pay the bills. Many inconveniences happened. One thing stood out through all of this. God was with us every step of the way. He provided what was needed for us to get through the next month. My boss was very understanding and allowed me to work from home. My dad was kind enough to let me use his truck while waiting on the rental. Ricky's mom and dad sent us money to get us through. I had friends and family who were there for us and it meant the world.

The Lord has been working on our hearts since then. We have joined a new church home. It was not where I thought we would end up. Especially since we joined First Baptist Church led by Dr. Robert Jeffress. I had mentioned his series on Politically Incorrect previously. We felt like the Lord wanted us in that church because Dr. Jeffress preaches the Word compassionately but is unapologetic. Some would consider him narrow-minded because he is uncompromising on Gods truth. But he is NOT brimstone and damnation either. I met Dr. Jeffress personally and he is a great guy. He is funny and has a sense of humor. He has been very warm and friendly to Ricky and I. His associate pastor Walter Guillaume has been the main person we have been in contact with. He has been really nice and always thinks to call Ricky. He knows about Ricky's ailments and prays with us. I had to say I had misgivings leaving University UMC because I swore I would never join a Baptist church ever again. However I don't have control on that one. That is in God's hand. I am being baptized on January 25th. I am a little nervous about this because in the Methodist church you did not do immersion baptism. So this will be a big step in my walk with the Lord.

Also I have been reflecting on my past mistakes. I have had so much anger and bitterness that has consumed me and affected my friendships and relationships. I have been snapping at Ricky for no reason, being distrustful and hateful. I am not proud of these mistakes and have asked God for help in controlling this. I have also hurt people with my actions. I now understand why people do certain things. I know its not to hurt me but its to help.

I made major mistakes that could have very well ended my relationship with Ricky. Instead of trusting in the Lord during my emptiness, I turned to temptation and destructive behavior. I had unhealthy attachments to men at work and almost would cross the line. I did get close to destroying my marriage because of one of those friendships. It grieves me to this day that I have hurt the other person and my husband. I want to give a word of advice to many who may be in a marriage that is in a rough patch. Please do not look for affection outside of marriage. I am not opposed to friends of the opposite sex but you would really want to be careful. Even if you and that other person go into the friendship with platonic attempts, anything can happen. Even if nothing physical happens, an emotional affair can be just as damaging. You start depending on the other person. That has damaging lasting effects. Please get counseling, talk to a trusted minister, friend, or counselor. Also please work at the marriage and never for a second suggest divorce as an option. In our society marriage has been treated so carelessly because people have the idea that if they don't like this model they can exchange it for something else. That was not what God intended. It grieves me to see how much the sanctity of marriage has been discounted. It may sound like I am trying to be self righteous and perfect. But that is not the case. I am speaking from experience.

Ricky and I are excited about the new year. We are hoping to get more involved in the church and grow even closer to God. We have believed but have been fair weather Christians. We are reading our Bible, getting educated in His word, and cutting many negative influences out of our life. We don't watch much TV. We are working on cutting bad words out of our vocabulary. This is not a quest for perfection. This is a step toward living the way Christ did. Knowing that we are sinners and we fall short of His Glory could grieve us but accepting Him as our Saviour is good news. We are not narrow minded. We don't stop being friends with someone just because they don't have a relationship with the Lord but we do constantly pray for them and just be there as a witness. The best way to witness to an unbeliever is through actions. One mistake that Christians make is they turn their back on their friends once they get saved and grow closer to God. That's not what God wants us to do. But He does not want us to do things that are not pleasing to Him either. So if you have a friend who is questionable in his/her beliefs pray about it. Don't assume you have to drop them like a hot potato. But if it is someone who is destructive and brings you down, you are not required to constantly be beaten down. Pray for that person but keep your distance. I have a good friend who has been telling me this for awhile. He says that being a good friend does not always mean hovering over that person.

The inauguration is Monday for President Elect Obama. I have taken my own advice and prayed for him. I am not going to stoop to the level of the Bush-bashers of the last 8 years. I don't agree with his policies but I wont be bad-mouthing him and calling him names. That is not the way to proceed. I still have mixed feelings about him in office. It has nothing to do with race either. If you know me, you understand I am not racist or judge on skin color. I felt like some of my coworkers took the election too personally. On election night there were people who acted very unprofessional. I know Obama is glad he won but I would like to think he would not approve of the racial behavior. I am glad I am not working tomorrow or I would probably lose it. I pray for unity and that we can see each other the way the Lord sees us. In Gods eyes we are all His children.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your presence during our tough times. Please forgive us where we fall short. It is in the name of Christ I pray,