I mean it. I am trying to be positive. Part of it is just not taking things so personally. That's an ongoing battle though. Its just that I am sick of being the only one working. I am tired of the apartment looking like a dump and sick of having to do it all. Some days I just want a break from everyone. Its gotten to the point where I dread weekends because it just means going back to work. Something is seriously wrong to be at this point right now.
Last Sunday we went to visit my dad. That was depressing because of some of the things said. He is still convinced that Ricky is slacking around and does not want to work. We talked and he thinks that Ricky is getting a free ride because he is unemployed. There are some days I feel that but I know its not the case. Also Dad does not have a personal relationship with the Lord. He makes disparaging comments about Christians. He calls them religious nuts and says they are overbearing and demanding. I told him that not all of us are like that and it was not fair to give that stereotype to people. He countered that by saying its the Christians fault for this image. Yeah that really is uplifting to hear from a father. Not to mention that he complained about this one lady he was seeing because she was conservative. Translation: She won't jump in bed on the first date. Dad is a good person. So why he settles for people who are superficial and shallow and tosses the good women out the window is beyond me. I am praying for him.
Work is a challenge. We just had a shift bid. I am on the bottom of list meaning I got stuck with a really crappy shift. Starting August 30th I will be working a 4 by 10 shift. That wouldn't be so bad but throw in every Sunday it blows. I get to miss worship services. I am not pleased about that at all. Also I talked with one of my coworkers on switching days because he works every Saturday. He does not want to switch unless I beg him. I will try to make the best of it by finding a church to go to on Saturdays. Also our new manager wants to micromanage everything. Part of it was that there were complaints about our team so things are changing. But one thing I am really steamed about is that we are unable to listen to music at work. It already sucks that church is being taken away but the Christian music is out of the question. I would listen to KCBI or KTIS at work to lift me up. But nope we have to be professional, have people look up to us blah blah blah. Yeah whatever. As for the complaints I don't know what they are about. I made mistakes but I did my job. I did not just play around. There are more changes but it may not seem "professional" to mention them. Wouldn't want to offend the higher ups.
Some good news for a change. Ricky saw a new doctor who seems more promising. This guy actually takes time to explain what is going on. He prescribed Ricky with medicine to help the spasms. The good thing about that is its safe and wont cause side affects like some prior medications. We hope to get this nipped in the bud. This ailment has taken over our life.
I am trying to be positive. So I am cutting it short before I start venting and saying things I will regret.
I know You have a plan for us. I ask that it is revealed in some form. We are lost and broken and cannot go on. We pray for Your guidance and love during this time. I ask this in Jesus Name. Amen